First Essay(s) or Essais: Reflections on "birth"

I love writing. Finally finding the time to put down these thoughts (through typing) has became such a fun outlet for me. I love to record in my journal too, but It's a little different when there's the possibility of an audience. Writing is also the way the Holy Ghost speaks to me. It is through this medium that I receive revelation - which is why I try to write in my journal often - though I usually fall short of this goal. But thanks for reading if you care to. It's purely for my own enjoyment, if not to give some entertainment or in this case, encourage some reflection on your own part. 

After writing all of my thoughts in this post, I decided to go back and split them into sections; as you'll see I mention the French philosopher, Michel de Montaigne (a favorite from my French studies), who wrote a book titled "Les Essais" which is simply a series of his thoughts written down on paper. The titles of his essays sometimes seemed disconnected. Here are mine, written on a blog. (You've been warned ;)

Birth

It was probably 12 or 13 years ago now, when I heard a talk given in our ward on Mother's Day by Val Christensen. The young women were sitting up on the stand for youth choir and I remember some of the other girls being embarrassed by the talk, but I was fascinated...He spoke on the symbolism between a mother giving birth and Christ's atonement.
The blood and water that Christ spilled for us as he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and was later crucified on the cross, were part of the necessary process to give all of God's children new life. Through our Savior, and elder brother Jesus Christ, all mankind were saved and given the opportunity to be born again. It is through His atonement that we can become clean. We are not only figuratively, but I would argue, literally "born again" through Him.
When a mother gives birth to a child, her body goes through incredible pain (worse than I could ever imagine - even after going through it), to bring that child into the world. She loses blood and water just as the Savior did; not in the same way - but the symbolism is beautiful.
These are the things I have reflected on since giving birth to Annie. (Please note that I loved bringing Beau into the world too - I believe bringing a child into your life and family is more incredible than any other experience you can have on this earth, no matter whether they join you biologically -naturally or surgically - through marriage, adoption, surrogacy, etc. I will try to keep up with this blog retroactively though, so I can share my thoughts from when Beau was born). But back to what I have learned these last couple of months:
Because I gave birth to our little Anne without drugs, I pondered on the idea of going through pain to bring new life as the Savior did for us - not through a physical birth of course, and even more incredible was His atonement because of the eternal and everlasting life it brought to all mankind - but I thought back on how I had enjoyed every minute and was excited by every contraction.

.....I'm sorry this post isn't very cohesive - my thoughts are probably all over the place (I guess I write similarly to Montaigne who coined the word "essay," and in French the verb "essayer" means "to try") so I will try and hopefully, if you are reading this, you won't have too much difficulty following my thoughts....

I am not trying to suggest that our Lord Jesus Christ enjoyed going through the incredible and indescribable pain that he experienced. But after going through labor and delivering Annie this way, I felt amazing gratitude for the opportunity to feel pain for something that brought me the greatest joy. Going through pain for something exciting is so difficult to describe in words (though I suppose that's what I am attempting to do as I type this). It makes the pain bearable. I knew I could endure each contraction, because I was one step closer to meeting our daughter. (Of course, I'm sure I was also thinking about the fact that each one brought me closer to being done with the pain :) But the power of the mind over the body and learning to harness that power makes you feel - powerful. Excuse the redundancy.
So, did the Savior enjoy going through His suffering atonement? mmmm. I'm not even going to try to argue that he did. But He has taught us that afflictions and trials are for our good. He knew He had to do it. "Not my will but Thine, be done." Knowing what the outcome would be must have given Him immense strength, along with all of the comfort and strength he was given by a guardian angel and by the fact that He is the Only Begotten of the Father. No one else could perform this miracle. Only He. And He became ALL powerful. He is omnipotent. He received the Father's glory by suffering for our sins and afflictions, sorrows, worries, pain, etc. And He gave us NEW LIFE. I love that we can be "born again" over and over during our life. His atonement is Infinite. And I am so grateful I was given the tiniest glimmer of what that means, by going through pain to bring new life to this earth. I think women have a pretty cool role. I know not every woman will experience it in this life, but I know we will all have the opportunity - and we have eternity. :) But I'm grateful for my body and for the time I have on this earth to experience those things. If for some reason I can never have another child or just never go unmedicated again, I am grateful for the chance I had this last July to experience birth this way. I count it as a blessing. And I hope for those who cannot experience it, that you don't feel I am trying to boast. Please don't let me offend anyone who might be reading this. In fact. This was not the only thing I have reflected on when thinking about birth over the last couple of months.

Adoption

Think of the parents who raised Jesus Christ. This is a thought that many others have probably had, but it came to my own mind only this last month when Tim's brother and his wife were blessed with beautiful baby twin boys. I am still overjoyed for this blessing that they have received! With this as their second adoption, I thought about, again, how incredible the atonement is. Whenever any of us makes a mistake, all can be made right through repentance and taking full advantage of Christ's love and mercy. If we turn to him, the sin, mistake, or whatever misdeed has occurred to alter our life can actually become a blessing. But only if we let the Savior make it so. Adoptive parents fulfill the commandments and their covenants with Heavenly Father, when they receive and invite these sweet children into their home and family. We have been taught by living Prophets and Apostles, that "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. "* If a child doesn't birth into the family that is ordained of God, they can still be sealed and raised in an Eternal family as if they were. These adopted children are part of an eternal family. These are the children of my and Tim's brother and sister-in-law. It does not matter how they came into the world. I LOVE that about that atonement. How incredible that the Lord would bless them this way. Does it mean that the birth mom was supposed to make a mistake, because it was all part of the plan? Absolutely NOT. Heavenly Father gave us agency. Something that is ours and that we have had since the beginning - before this life. That is exactly why Adam and Eve were allowed to make their own choice in the Garden of Eden, and Then - Heavenly Father provided a Savior for them and for all of their posterity. Jesus Christ atoned for us so all could be made right, so we could return to be with Him again. From one of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon, "Wherefore, he is the first fruits unto God, inasmuch as he shall make intercession for all the children of men; and they that believe in him shall be saved."** I highly suggest studying 2 Nephi chapter 2 as it explains the atonement beautifully; and verse 25 states "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." We are here on the earth to have JOY....during this life! Thank goodness for the atonement. We can experience joy, because we know sorrow. And we can have everlasting joy, because of the Savior's atoning sacrifice.

So - what does all of this have to do with the parents who raised Him? It had never occurred to me until a few weeks ago, that Joseph was in a way, an adoptive father to Jesus Christ. Because He is the Only Begotten of the Father, His earthly father was not biological. What an incredible gift and stewardship Joseph was "assigned" for his mission on this earth. What a beautiful blessing for any adoptive parents who bring these children into their families. Heavenly Father's spirit children. Children who can then be sealed to their families for ETERNITY. Christmas this year is going to have an entirely new meaning for me. It is always focused on the Savior, but I have been blessed to see different perspectives, or aspects, of the Saviors life each year (such as focusing on the atonement, because that is the entire reason His birth was so exciting in the first place).

The Father of Our Souls

Speaking of birth...and fathers...that takes everything back to where we started with being born again. The Christ is our Father through spiritual rebirth - He is the Father of our salvation and exaltation. And whether we know it or not, we do know Him. The key is to remember. A book that I love, called "Proof of Heaven" gives an analogy of God's love, and I want to take it a step further. Because Eben Alexander explains this metaphor in such an eloquent way, I will quote it directly instead of paraphrasing. He says:
"My situation was, strangely enough, something akin to that of a fetus in a womb. The fetus floats in the womb with the silent partner of the placenta, which nourishes it and mediates its relationship to the everywhere present yet at the same time invisible mother. In this case, the "mother" was God, the Creator, the Source who is responsible for making the universe and all in it. This Being was so close that there seemed to be no distance at all between God and myself. Yet at the same time, I could sense the infinite vastness of the Creator, could see how completely minuscule I was by comparison."***
A mother's love for her child is all encompassing. I have always loved this metaphor to God's love for His children. It was only after giving birth to Annie--when the pediatrician reminded me that our Anne knew I was her mother, that she could recognize both my and Tim's voices, after having listened to us for so many months in the womb--that I realized the symbolism in that.
Just as a child knows his/her parents after being born, we can know our Heavenly Parents and the Savior. They do surround us and envelope us in their love every moment. Are we always aware of that? Do we realize they are there? If we can become familiar with that "voice" and hear the whisperings of the Spirit, we will know them when we see them again. Does this sound outrageous? It's actually very basic and simple doctrine, but as a friend mentioned to me the other day, it is often the simplest doctrines that are the "deepest." It is so profound - and it's true that it can be found all throughout the scriptures.

Favorite scripture time again:
Isaiah 49
15 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

and then
1 John 3
2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
Moroni 7
48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.
D&C 130
1 When the Savior shall appear we shall see him as he is. We shall see that he is a man like ourselves.

One truth from three different books of scripture! I love this Gospel, and am so grateful for the knowledge that our Heavenly Father is the same yesterday, today and forever. Not sure I need to say much more on this subject, it is so clearly stated. My prayer is simply that I will know Him.

*The Family: A Proclamation to the World, paragraph 7
**The Book of Mormon, the Second Book of Nephi, chapter 2 verse 9
***Alexander, Eben MD. Proof of Heaven page 47

(I know these aren't cited in any correct format - but this is not an assignment :)